Watching our parents age can be a bittersweet experience. It’s hard to think of those who raised us becoming more vulnerable, but by empowering ourselves with knowledge and preparing for common realities, you can avoid some of the pitfalls and frustrations, ensuring a smoother experience for both you and your parent.
Here are five key things to consider.
1. Falls are more than just a slip-up
Falls are the leading reason older people visit A&E, and their consequences can be devastating. Did you know that a third of people over 65 will fall at least once a year? For those over 80, that risk rises to half.
Falls aren’t just a physical risk – they can impact mental health too. After a fall, older adults often lose confidence, leading to reduced activity and a vicious cycle of declining health.
How to help:
- Prevention first: Install grab rails in the bathroom, non-slip mats, and ensure adequate lighting throughout the home. Stylish, discreet options are available that won’t compromise your parent’s home aesthetic. Find out more here.
- Encourage activity: Resistance training and gentle exercises, like Pilates or tai chi, can improve balance and strength. Learn tips for motivating your parent to exercise.
- Be proactive: If a fall has already occurred, seek medical advice to understand the cause and prevent a recurrence.
Learn more ways to guard against falls.
2. Don’t miss out on Attendance Allowance
If your parent struggles with daily living due to health or age-related conditions, they may qualify for Attendance Allowance – a tax-free benefit of up to £5,645 annually.
Yet, many eligible people miss out – either because they’re unaware of it, find the application process too tedious or confusing, or give it a try but get rejected (around 58% of applications are unsuccessful).
What to know:
- Eligibility isn’t about income; it’s based on need.
- The application process is detailed and ambiguous, so seeking advice is highly worthwhile.
- Attendance Allowance can open doors to other discounts and benefits.
Start by learning the criteria and how to avoid common pitfalls here.
3. Top up the sunshine vitamin – vitamin D
As we age, our skin becomes less efficient at producing vitamin D from sunlight, and older people often spend less time outdoors. This nutrient is vital for bone health, muscle function, and immune support. Vitamin D deficiency has been linked to an increased risk of fractures, respiratory infections, and even depression.
What you can do:
- Supplements: The NHS recommends adults consider taking a daily vitamin D supplement of 10mg/400 International Units (IU) daily in autumn and winter, but your parent’s GP might advise a higher dose, or taking it all year round, so it’s a good idea to check with them.
- Diet: Encourage foods like salmon, eggs, and fortified cereals.
- Routine: For best absorption, take supplements with a meal containing healthy fats.
Learn more about vitamin D and other key nutrients for older people here.
4. How to spot the signs of dementia
Is it forgetfulness or something more? Occasional lapses, like misplacing keys, are normal. But persistent memory issues, confusion, or behavioural changes could signal early dementia.
Key signs to watch for:
- Forgetting familiar names or places.
- Repeatedly asking the same questions.
- Struggles with finances or decision-making.
If you notice changes, encourage your parent to see a GP. Completing a pre-visit dementia checklist like this one from the Alzheimer’s Society can be helpful to start the conversation.
Learn more about dementia and what can be done .
5. The true cost of care (and when it’s free)
Care for ageing parents can be a significant financial consideration. In England, your parent will not be entitled to help with the cost of care from their local council if:
- They have savings worth more than £23,250 – known as the upper capital limit (UCL)
- They own their own property (this only applies if they are moving into a care home)
It’s important to know that councils don’t just look at savings and assets when determining eligibility for financial support. They also assess income, which includes state pensions, private pensions, and other income streams, to calculate how much your parent can contribute towards their care.
Residential care costs across the UK average £800 – £1,078 a week, and in areas like London and the South East, this can rise to well over £1,250.
Some types of care are funded regardless of income or assets, such as:
- NHS Continuing Healthcare (CHC): Free, non-means-tested care for people with significant, ongoing health needs.
- Reablement care: Short-term support (up to six weeks) to help your parent recover after a hospital stay.
- NHS-funded nursing care: Contributions towards nursing care costs in a care home for those who don’t qualify for CHC.
Bear in mind, though, that securing funded care can be complicated and time-consuming, often requiring persistence and advocacy. You may also need to cover the costs of care in the interim while funding is being arranged, or if you want additional care that isn’t covered. This is where Attendance Allowance can provide a welcome addition to the pot, offering non-means-tested financial support of up to £5,645 per year.
Learn more about the financial support older people are entitled to in the UK.
In summary
Preparing for your parents’ ageing years isn’t easy, but it’s necessary if you want to reduce stresses and greater costs down the line.
By tackling potential challenges head-on – from fall prevention to financial planning – you’ll be far better equipped to support them through this stage of life.
Common questions
Is Attendance Allowance affected by savings or income?
- No, it’s based on need, not finances.
Should my parent take vitamin D supplements all year?
- It depends. Vitamin D supplements are typically recommended for older adults, especially if they are frail, housebound, or in a care home. However, it’s important to check with their doctor to ensure they’re taking the right dose for their individual needs
What’s the first step if I suspect dementia?
- Encourage your parent to see their GP and prepare notes on their symptoms to share during the visit. The GP will conduct an initial assessment, which may involve a series of questions about memory, thinking, and day-to-day functioning. They may also perform a physical examination and order tests to rule out other possible causes of the symptoms, such as infections or medication side effects. If the GP suspects dementia, they will refer your parent for further assessments, such as a cognitive test or memory clinic evaluation, to confirm the diagnosis and explore appropriate next steps for care and support.
