Reviewed by Dr Sarah Gunn
Dementia refers to several brain diseases – such as Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia – that damage brain cells and can make remembering, thinking, and managing daily life harder. It’s one of the most worrying conditions for many people as they get older, and people often live with dementia for quite some time before receiving a diagnosis.
If you notice changes that could be dementia in your parent or relative, it’s important to seek help early. An earlier diagnosis can open the door to treatments and support services that can help manage symptoms. It also gives time to plan ahead and make practical changes – helping your parent or relative stay independent for longer, and making life easier for the whole family.
But noticing dementia early can be tricky. Here we explain why it’s hard to spot and the common warning signs to look out for.
Why dementia can be hard to spot
Dementia develops slowly. Early signs are often subtle, and memory lapses or confusion can be mistaken for normal ageing or stress. There is a common perception that ageing brings cognitive (thinking) difficulties, which can lead people to dismiss potentially concerning changes.
People living with early memory or thinking problems don’t always notice the changes themselves or how these changes are affecting them. That’s why it’s so important for family and friends to be aware of the signs and take action when they’re worried that something might not be right.
Sometimes, people with dementia may also hide or cover up their difficulties – consciously or unconsciously – which can make it even harder to detect. People don’t want to be diagnosed with dementia, because it’s scary, and they may also be worried about judgement or stigma from others.
Understanding what is normal
Understanding what is “normal” for your parent or relative is key: changes from their usual behaviour are far more significant than comparing them to others of the same age.
Think about how much memory can vary from person to person – we all know someone who never forgets a face, and we also probably all know someone who can’t remember a name even after meeting someone several times.
We all differ, so think about your parent and what’s “normal” for them, as small changes in memory, communication, or mood may be important, particularly if multiple signs appear together or worsen over time.
Common early warning signs
Different types of dementia can affect people differently, and everyone will experience symptoms in their own way, depending on which part(s) of their brain is affected.
Here are some common signs to look out for:
Repeating questions or stories
Frequently asking the same question in quick succession or telling the same story repeatedly, even after being reminded that they have said this before. If this has always been part of their personality, it may not be a concern – but new or increasing repetition can be a red flag.
Struggling with everyday tasks
Getting confused or overwhelmed with familiar and previously manageable tasks, such as managing their finances, following a recipe, or doing the weekly shopping. This might also include misusing appliances or struggling to follow the storyline of a tv show.
Misplacing items and being unable to retrace their steps
Regularly misplacing items and being unable to retrace their steps to find them. This might include putting things in unusual spots, like placing keys in the refrigerator, and being unable to recall how they got there.
Trouble finding words or following conversations
Struggling to find the right words, or having trouble following or joining in conversations. They might stop in the middle of a sentence and not know how to continue, or they may use unusual words to describe everyday objects around the house.
Getting confused about time or place
Regularly losing track of dates or seasons, forgetting what day it is, or getting disorientated in familiar settings. This can look like getting lost going to or from their local shop, or not recognising their local area while out for a walk. As for any of these potential concerns, think about what has been normal for your relative.
Some people may never remember the date without a calendar and their failing to do so would not be cause for concern – but for someone who always knows the day and date, a change may be worrisome.
Changes in judgement and decision-making
Making apparently unwise decisions, losing common sense or taking unusual risks, such as giving away large sums of money or paying less attention to grooming and cleanliness. They may also be less able to recognise dangerous situations. Bear in mind that we all have the right to make unwise decisions, so the fact that we disagree with someone’s decision doesn’t make it automatically wrong or worrisome, but if you are concerned that your parent or relative is acting impulsively or making decisions to their own detriment then this could be a cause for concern.
Withdrawal from work or social activities
Pulling back or showing less interest in activities they usually enjoy such as social engagements, hobbies, work projects, or even time with family. This withdrawal can stem from a loss of confidence or difficulty keeping up with conversations and activities. Older people can also worry that they will be judged negatively for any cognitive (thinking) difficulties if noticed by others, which can lead them to avoid spending time with others.
Changes in mood, behaviour and personality
New mood swings, low mood, anxiety, or becoming easily upset in familiar situations can be a sign of something changing – for example, someone who was once outgoing and talkative becoming quiet and withdrawn, or someone usually caring and considerate becoming indifferent to others. They might also become suspicious, fearful, or irritable, and may even behave aggressively towards others (which may be a sign of some other difficulty that they are struggling to communicate).
Changes in personality and behaviour are particularly seen with a type of dementia called “frontotemporal dementia”, but can occur across a wide range of dementias.
Important considerations
While the above are common signs of dementia, they are not exclusive to it and can occur in lots of other medical or psychological conditions, including other neurological conditions.
Different types of dementia may also have additional or unique symptoms. For example, Lewy body dementia can cause vivid hallucinations, drowsiness during the day, or frequent falls.
Even within the same type of dementia, symptoms and difficulties can vary significantly from person to person, influenced by factors including the progression and presentation of their condition, their personal history and personality, other health conditions they have, and their current relationships and situation.
In summary
Occasional forgetfulness, like misplacing keys or forgetting names, is usually nothing to worry about.
But if your parent or relative’s memory lapses become more frequent, persistent, and disruptive than is usual for them, and especially if other unusual changes are also present, it’s worth encouraging and supporting them to arrange a check-up with their general practitioner (GP or family doctor) and accompanying them if they are happy for you to do so.
Early recognition and diagnosis can make a real difference. It allows access to treatment and support, and gives families more time to plan, adapt, and find ways to improve quality of life for everyone involved.
Common questions
What should I do if I suspect my parent has dementia?
Encourage them to see their GP, and ideally see if they are willing to bring a close friend or family member along to the appointment. It can also help to complete this questionnaire from the Alzheimer’s Society at home and bring the results, along with any notes on changes you’ve noticed. The GP will run tests to rule out other conditions that could be causing symptoms (such as thyroid problems or vitamin deficiencies) and make a referral to a memory clinic for further assessment if needed.
Is there a test for dementia?
There isn’t a single definitive test for dementia. GPs and memory clinics use a combination of cognitive assessments, blood tests, and brain scans to help reach a diagnosis. These tests are complex and not always completely clear, so it can sometimes take months or longer to get an accurate diagnosis.
Can dementia be diagnosed early?
Yes. Early diagnosis usually means detecting dementia soon after symptoms begin, rather than before any signs appear. Recognising dementia early allows access to treatments, support services, and care planning. It also helps families make practical and emotional preparations.
New tools, such as blood tests that detect changes linked to Alzheimer’s disease, are being developed and may help doctors make diagnoses more quickly and accurately in the future. However, these tests are primarily used alongside other assessments and are not yet widely available.
