Reviewed by Jen Riley
Setting up a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) is one of the most important steps we can take to protect our wellbeing and financial affairs in later life. But even if your parent recognises the importance of LPAs – and maybe even gets the paperwork started – the biggest stumbling block is often deciding who to name.
Understandably, this can delay the whole process – sometimes until it’s too late.
If your parent is struggling with this decision, here are some things to keep in mind that could help them reach a decision.
You can name different people for each LPA
There are two separate types of LPA:
- Health and welfare LPA – covers decisions like medical treatment, care needs, and daily routines.
- Property and financial affairs LPA – covers managing money, paying bills, and selling property.
Your parent can name the same person for both, or different people based on their skills and strengths. It’s common to name different people for the two LPAs.
You can name more than one attorney
While your parent can name just one attorney for either LPA, you can have more than one – either to share the responsibility or to act as a replacement if the first person can’t take on the role.
It’s often best to avoid naming multiple attorneys to act jointly (where they must always agree), as this can cause delays in urgent or stressful situations. Instead, you can appoint them jointly and severally, meaning they can act together or independently. You can specify which decisions you’d like your attorneys to make jointly and which they can handle independently. For instance, you might allow them to manage your bills on their own, but require them to act together when making bigger decisions, such as selling your property.
Even if you choose a single attorney, it’s wise to name a replacement attorney – a back-up in case your first choice cannot fulfil their role.
If choosing more than one attorney, it’s worth thinking about how well they’ll work together. If they don’t see eye to eye, it could cause delays or affect care.
Trust is more important than family roles
An attorney will potentially have a lot of power over your life – over health decisions, money, or even the family home. Your parent needs to feel confident the person they choose will:
- Make thoughtful, informed decisions
- Always act in their best interests
- Respect their wishes, even if they personally disagree
Encourage your parent to focus on trustworthiness, not just family roles. The most obvious choice isn’t always the best one.
Pay close attention to skills and strengths
Look at potential people’s skills, strengths and personality traits to work out who is best suited for the role. The different LPAs require different skills.
Look for someone who is:
- Financial LPA: organised, good with money, comfortable dealing with paperwork and institutions
- Health & Welfare LPA: compassionate, emotionally steady, confident handling sensitive health matters
Other useful traits for either LPA role include:
- Good decision-making skills
- Good at record keeping and organised
- Clear-headed under pressure
- Willingness to follow instructions
Consider future availability and readiness
As well as being capable, attorneys need to be willing, available and able – both now and in the years to come.
Encourage your parent to think about:
- Age and health – is this person likely to be fit and available if needed in five or ten years?
- Life stage and lifestyle – are they juggling small children, demanding work or often abroad?
- Proximity – someone nearby is often more practical
- Emotional readiness – would they be able to handle difficult decisions?
This is why many people choose a spouse and an adult child, or a spouse and niece or nephew, to strike the right balance.
Clarify wishes clearly and openly
Wishes need to be shared, not just assumed. Encourage your parent to have a frank conversation about their wishes, or write them down (these can be included in the “Preferences and Instructions” sections of the LPA form). This leaves less room for misunderstanding – and helps attorneys feel more confident taking on the role.
Encourage your parent to explain:
- Their values and preferences
- Specific decisions they feel strongly about (such as views on life-sustaining treatment)
- Any instructions or boundaries they want written into the LPA
This is not about favourites or family hierarchy
Choosing an LPA can stir up tricky feelings – especially if there are siblings, new partners, or estranged family members involved. Sometimes your parent might feel torn between not upsetting anyone and picking the right person.
Remind them that this is not about favourites or family hierarchy. It’s about who is best suited to the role. If they’re really unsure, it may help to involve a professional – such as a solicitor – to:
- Offer impartial advice
- Help select suitable attorneys
- Add clear instructions or restrictions
- Store the LPA securely and only release it when needed
In summary
Supporting a parent through LPA decisions isn’t always straightforward, but it’s worth persisting. The most important thing is to make a timely decision and get them in place.
If your parent doesn’t have an LPA in place and later loses capacity, their family may need to apply to the Court of Protection – a costly and time-consuming process that can leave important decisions in limbo for months.
So, if your parent is hesitating, gently remind them: making a decision now is always better than leaving it too late. They can always revoke or update their LPAs at any time as long as they still have capacity.
