There are times when eldering can feel like a lonely journey, particularly if you’re shouldering responsibilities that no one else in your life has – like living with a parent for the first time since teen years or caring for a relative with dementia.
The right book can help bridge that gap, whether it’s a novel, memoir or even a book of cartoons.
Here are six of our favourites.
A good place to start…
An Extra Pair of Hands – Kate Mosse
She may be better known for her best-selling gothic novels, but for years Kate Mosse has balanced her writing career with caring responsibilities, caring in turn for her father, mother and mother-in-law. Along the way she’s experienced many of the challenges, joys and hardships shared by Britain’s 5.8m unpaid carers.
If you’re looking for an honest, personal memoir about caring, this is a great place to start.
If you’re looking for something light-hearted… ish…
Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant – Roz Chast
Best known for her New Yorker cartoons, Roz Chast’s first cartoon memoir follows the final years of her parents’ lives. It’s full of dark humour, but behind it is an honesty and pathos that many who are caring for elder relatives will relate to. Little wonder it’s won so many awards!
If you prefer fiction…
Elizabeth is Missing – Emma Healey
Humorous and emotional, this fictional portrayal of dementia has won critical acclaim and since been adapted into a BBC drama.
It follows 82-year-old Maud as she searches for the truth behind the note in her pocket: that Elizabeth is missing. No matter how much she’s told to forget about it, let it go, Maud won’t.
Only Maud can find out what happened to Elizabeth …
If you’re struggling with the care system…
A Duck Out Of Water – Helen Johns
This one comes highly recommended by Eldering Care Home Expert, Helen Davies-Parsons.
After Helen Johns’ mother was diagnosed with dementia, she moved into a care home. But she felt like a duck out of water, leading to struggles and emotional challenges for both mother and daughter.
Helen writes very honestly about their difficulties with the complexities of the care system, as well as her brave decision to reject the poor standards of care and support her mother’s move to a more suitable environment.
If you want to understand the dementia experience…
Somebody I Used to Know – Wendy Mitchell
An unusual memoir, written by someone living with dementia rather than someone caring for someone after a diagnosis. It’s both moving and remarkable, offering an unparalleled insight into what it’s like to be in the early stages of cognitive illness.
If you’re looking for an insight for what living with dementia is like, this illuminating book is for you.
If you need uplifting…
Feeding My Mother – Jann Arden
Drawing on her diaries, singer-songwriter Jann Arden’s account of becoming her mother’s caregiver in the face of an Alzheimer’s diagnosis has been described as full of ‘love’ and ‘wonder’. Her story focuses on food and the time they spent cooking and eating together, and the recipes she used to tempt her mum to the table.
